this might explain a few things.
https://youtu.be/4RJCWeRS_Jg
Friday, October 7, 2016
Monday, July 27, 2015
all i can say now is...
Just a few words... the reason God never granted me a life with her, i now understand why. it only took me ~20 years to understand.
but God does work in misterious ways.
in a way i am glad it never worked out. because i would never of been happy with her in my life. and i would of been submiting to her whims like her husband ended up doing.
i found out that life is not about submitting but finding that asset a exploring possable ways it could make both of you happy. it's not about give and take but it is about finding the person who you are compatable with.
someone who you can lookat and say, even if we have our disagreements, i made the right choice.
but God does work in misterious ways.
in a way i am glad it never worked out. because i would never of been happy with her in my life. and i would of been submiting to her whims like her husband ended up doing.
i found out that life is not about submitting but finding that asset a exploring possable ways it could make both of you happy. it's not about give and take but it is about finding the person who you are compatable with.
someone who you can lookat and say, even if we have our disagreements, i made the right choice.
Thursday, January 9, 2014
water under the bridge?
why do i still care since she is long gone from my life? if there was ever a chance there was but is no more what can one say had that chance? new year new chances new people. must put old news in old recycle bin and empty it before it gets old.
but what can one say, that has not been said before? i was told i would never be with her, but that still does not kill how i felt for her. it never has, it never will.
but what can one say, that has not been said before? i was told i would never be with her, but that still does not kill how i felt for her. it never has, it never will.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
i am not stalking anyone!!!
even though i claimed this URL from Nevada, i know she thinks i am stalking her, i am not. or if i am i am not doing it on purpose. it changes my whole attitude towards someone. to be called a stalker. that is a reason i hate CJ, because she called me one once. i have better things to do than look at some woman's blog. and apparently you don't have anything better to do either since you are here reading this.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
What more could i ask for?
She got married, she is happy about that, i never wanted any harm to come to that happiness. but what if? the question that i have 15 years later.
what if?
what if she responded differently to the letters i stuffed into her locker.
what if i did not have my first psychotic episode at that time in history when our so called relationship was about to have a fighting chance?
what if she ever liked me back, but never had the courage to tell me?
what if she knew how i felt about her ever since i first met her in grade 2?
what if my dream world became reality and vice versa?
what if i could truly replace her, with someone else?
what if?
what if she responded differently to the letters i stuffed into her locker.
what if i did not have my first psychotic episode at that time in history when our so called relationship was about to have a fighting chance?
what if she ever liked me back, but never had the courage to tell me?
what if she knew how i felt about her ever since i first met her in grade 2?
what if my dream world became reality and vice versa?
what if i could truly replace her, with someone else?
Thursday, May 24, 2012
old URL's do not express todays truth.
do you ever visit Sites that where once popular in 1995 when the internet was just starting to bloom. only to get a 404 error.
yes this blog address i stole From Nevada. but i figured it was a way that i could get her attention since she changed her address to http://taiwanmusicteacher.blogspot.com shortly after i commented on her blog. once The old address became available i nabbed it. and thus i was able to express to the world the mistake that i made. it was falling in love with her but knowing i would never marry her.
i was given another chance to make the same mistakes on another female only to see a pattern and see where i went wrong in the first place. i figured out that if you let the Woman fall in love with you they become in charge of the relationship. (not a good thing!) so if i set the bar a little higher than she is willing to jump she will jump once and move on. that is what Nevada did 14 years ago.
yes this blog address i stole From Nevada. but i figured it was a way that i could get her attention since she changed her address to http://taiwanmusicteacher.blogspot.com shortly after i commented on her blog. once The old address became available i nabbed it. and thus i was able to express to the world the mistake that i made. it was falling in love with her but knowing i would never marry her.
i was given another chance to make the same mistakes on another female only to see a pattern and see where i went wrong in the first place. i figured out that if you let the Woman fall in love with you they become in charge of the relationship. (not a good thing!) so if i set the bar a little higher than she is willing to jump she will jump once and move on. that is what Nevada did 14 years ago.
Friday, July 15, 2011
the gloves come off.
Nevada. I once loved you so deeply that i could not show you. Since you belonged to another man. I replaced you in my life once i found out that you where married to that other man. I know i never treated you at all with the caring and love that i buried deep inside. I was told that you where not the one the day before i flipped out.
I also was told that day that the next person i fell for that would completely replace you in my life. I was also told that if she entered my life i would be rejected by her like i was with you.
I just wanted to say to you that the last person who enters my life will replace the both of you and she will not reject me. I will her.
since she has to really be worth more than both of you and and your replacement.
Since nobody can ever truly replace you. Chester is a lucky man.
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